GLUTEN FREE IS SO FETCH.

a while ago i wrote a post called The Gluten Free Chronicles (Part One).
i doubt anyone noticed it but part two never happened. like, it was never written (much less posted.)

until now.

one year ago i tweeted this:

There's a good chance my husband is gluten intolerant. So that's inconvenient.
— Kate Wessman (@MissKatieClaire) May 10, 2013

and four months after that garrett tested positive for Celiac Disease.

i suppose to a lot of people a celiac diagnosis would feel like the end of the world. and it sort of did a little bit to garrett. i mean one time (while we were engaged) he ate a sandwich that had macaroni and cheese, mozzarella sticks and chicken fingers on it. (and no, he was not in any way inebriated or under any kind of influence of drug or alcohol. he was just hungry.)
that behemoth "sandwich" was pretty much as gluten-filled as it could get. and he loved it. 

but we were fortunate for his diagnosis to come at a time when eating gluten free was like so fetch. 

and i'm only partially joking when i say that. 
eating gluten free is totally a thing now. it's a trendy diet that has caught on like wildfire. 

but it's fortunate for him that eating gluten free is so hip to the groove right now because there is a shizton more food for him to eat now than there would have been just 5 years ago. if we wanted to pay an exorbitant amount of money, garrett could recreate that monstrosity of carbs he called a sandwich and it would be completely gluten free. that's how readily available (and edible) GF foods are these days. 

from the beginning of this celiac journey i've told garrett i would be gluten free with him. my reasons for this were three fold:

1) i didn't really see gluten free as a real burden. it was inconvenient to have to read the back label of EVERY item of food we picked up at the grocery store. but now that we know what's gluten free it's a lot easier. (also, produce is naturally gluten free so we pretty much just load up on that and skip the whole center of the grocery store.) anyways, i was already eating sugar free and since most foods that contain gluten also contain sugar, i wasn't eating them to begin with. so we had to buy rice pasta instead of regular pasta. meh. that's not the end of the world. it's a little more expensive but whatever. i just didn't see it as a huge change in my life. if anything, i saw it as an opportunity for us to make even healthier food choices. that's a plus in my book. 

2) we didn't have the money to buy two of everything. it was less expensive for me to eat gluten free along with garrett than to continue buying gluten free and non-gluten free foods. two of everything would certainly start to add up. also, i wasn't about to be making two separate dinners every night. Sweet Brown told me ain't nobody got time for that.

3) i didn't want him to feel alone. being diagnosed with a disease can be scary, even if it's not a disease that is killing you. just hearing that there's something wrong with the body that you're stuck in for the rest of your life can be sort of daunting if not terrifying. and i didn't want garrett to feel like a freak or a loner. if he was going to have to ask if something had gluten in it, i was going to have to ask, too. if he was going to have to turn down a yummy food at a party or event, i wasn't going to stand next to him and eat it. i would turn it down, too. if he was going to have to make changes, i would make those changes, too. going gluten free seemed like something i could do, and if i felt like i could do it and if doing it would support my husband, then why wouldn't i do it? it just seemed silly not to.

i know not every spouse would feel this way, and i don't think any less of them for not doing it. because real talk: if garrett was diagnosed with a peanut allergy i would get a hotel for the night and meet jars of peanut butter there and have a sweet and secret love affair with them. because i freaking love peanut butter and i don't think i could give it up. but i could give up gluten. so i did. 

also, that whole comparing peanut butter to a lady of the night makes me laugh and it also makes me very uncomfortable. 

i've never considered myself a trendy dieter. in fact, i don't consider myself to be any kind of dieter because i don't believe i'm on a diet. i have a diet, but i'm not on one. the choices i make are choices i want to make for the rest of my life, not just for a short period of time until i reach a goal weight or size. i never decided to stop eating gluten so that i could hop on that cool GF train with all the other hip kids.

i started cutting unrefined sugar out of my diet back in 2008 because i did some research on the matter and realized sugar was in like everything i was eating. and i didn't want that. and my body certainly didn't need that. i took it out of my diet, lost some weight and felt better. if i go back to eating something blatantly sugary i get bloated and my tummy hurts and i pretty much regret it a lot. it's rarely worth it. not because i mentally beat myself up for indulging, but because my body just doesn't feel good when i indulge. 

ultimately, i just try to make healthy decisions for my body. every body is different and different things affect people differently. i was chubbier than most of my peers in high school because i ate what they ate but lacked their metabolism. my body held on to things theirs did not. my body was different. so i had to treat it differently and feed it differently.

i firmly believe that if you want to take good care of your body then you need to determine what is good for it specifically. maybe you're lactose intolerant. i'm not. so i'm going to eat my greek yogurt. (because, yum.) my sister can't eat anything acidic or even slightly spicy or her bladder like explodes. that doesn't happen to me. so i'm going to eat some delicious salsa. eating gluten upsets my stomach and makes me sick. so i'm not going to eat that. 

it's simple, really. i pay attention to what i eat and how it makes me feel. 

(please note i am not a nutritionist or a dietician. these are just my thoughts and are in no way meant to be read or interpreted as medical advice. )

i've already explained the reasons i decided to go gluten free. but there's another reason i decided to stay gluten free. 

i felt better.
(cliche, right? let me specify.)
my skin cleared up.
my hair grew.
my periods regulated.
i retained less water.
i bloated less.
i had more energy. 

and i was like, uhhh...this whole gluten free thing is kind of the bomb. 

i don't have celiac disease. i'm not even sure i have a gluten intolerance. but i know that my body is happier when it doesn't have to deal with gluten. 

so when i read an article the other day that essentially told people like me (non-celiac gluten free eaters) that they were being stupid for not eating gluten, i got a little defensive. according to this article people who claim to see changes due to eating gluten free are simply experiencing a placebo effect and nothing more. and more often than not the GF foods they eat are filled with more crap than the non-GF alternative.

once my initial frustration went away i decided i have three thoughts on that topic.

1) i do find it weird when people eat gluten free without bothering to know what gluten is or bothering to do any research on it. i do think it's odd that someone would just choose to pay more money for their food without learning for themselves how gluten could be affecting their body. because again, every body is different. and i think everybody ought to figure out what is good or bad for their body. but, that being said-a lot of the time people don't know they feel like crap until they don't feel like crap anymore. and unless people are willing to experiment with their food, they might never know how much better they could feel. so i don't fault these people entirely. i applaud them for being willing to try new things.

2) i don't believe i'm experiencing a placebo effect. once i cut gluten out i noticed a lot of things and i don't believe they were necessarily placebo because i wasn't LOOKING for any of them to happen. i didn't look for my skin to clear up, it just did. i didn't look for my hair to grow, it just grew. i didn't know of any of the possible positive side effects of eating gluten free before i decided to eat gluten free. i just did it to save money and support garrett. i feel any difference i noticed  was genuine because it wasn't anticipated.

3) i make so much of our food from scratch (because garrett can't have foods made in a factory that contains gluten) and i know exactly what goes into it. yes, we could recreate the aforementioned starch "sandwich" but we don't. yes, we could just eat gluten free cookies and cakes every day and say "hey! it's good for you! it's gluten free!" but we don't. because we're not stupid. we eat fruits and vegetables and protein and quinoa and rice and a myriad of other good, wholesome foods that don't have gluten in them. my diet is not depleted of nutrients because i'm choosing gluten free foods. 

i'll stop ranting now. my next post won't be so political. promise. 
i hope i didn't come of as judgmental or nutritionally pious. i honestly couldn't care less if you choose to eat gluten. i just choose not to. and i hope that's okay with you, too. 

there's enough to worry about in this world. someone else choosing to not eat gluten really ought not be troubling our minds. 

those are my thoughts.

WHY I LEFT. WHY I'M BACK.

a picture of gilly to get you through the texty part of this entry.

i've always said that Taylor Swift is my soul sister. in fact, when she released the song You Belong With Me, i legitimately believed that she was somehow privy to my personal, hand written journal entries. some sort of Tom Riddle's diary kind of thing, perhaps. because that song was spot on with my life and it was almost frightening how i could relate to it. and by frightening, i mean that song was my 2009 anthem and i sang it basically for 6 months straight.

one might think now that i'm married and no longer feeling the sting of heartache and breakups that accompanied my "dating years" -and since Taylor hasn't taken to writing songs about financial issues, dogs named Gilly or an unhealthy obsession with peanut butter- that i would no longer have the soul sister connection with her as i used to. you might think that we have lost common ground. 

but that's where you're wrong. because let's be honest- We Are Never Getting Back Together is pretty much the best fitting song to describe my relationship with this blog.

like, how many times have i said i was going to get better at blogging and then went 3 months before i blogged again and started that post with the same lame line?

don't actually count. i don't want to know.

the point is, i said i was going to get better back in january, but i didn't. and the reason i didn't is two fold.

1) the whole blogging community was really starting to bother me. if you're not a blogger, the concept of the blogging community might be foreign and you probably don't know what goes on within it. but just think back to high school, and you've pretty much got a good idea. for the most part.

(i will come back to point number one in a minute.)

2) i had absolutely nothing to write about. seriously. nothing. my creative juices were as dry as the Serengeti and my days were completely the same for about 3 months straight. you ever seen Groundhog Day? i stayed at home while garrett went to his last quarter of school. the weather was miserable almost the entire 10 weeks and all of our best laid plans of him taking his motorcycle to school (to save money and to provide me with a car) fell by the wayside of the polar vortex and every other horribly cold, rainy day. so i stayed home. i worked out. i took gilly on walks. i cleaned. i watched an embarrassing amount of Friends. i read. and that's about it. day in. day out.

i didn't go places, i didn't do things. i rarely talked to people. and garrett and i were living on like eight dollars.

and i don't want to sound like a total debbie downer or anything, but come on. nothing about what was going on in my life was worth documenting.

so i didn't document it. 

which brings us back to point number one. 

i don't want to dis the blogging community as a whole. i don't want to make it sound like i don't like blogging. because, on the contrary, i love blogging. and i've made good friends, met wonderful people and been on the giving and receiving end of a lot of love for and from people i've never met. and i think that's wonderful. and just recently i witness the blogging community come together to support a fellow blogger in the tragic and unexpected loss of her 3 year old son. it was heartbreaking, but it was also inspiring to see so many people rallying to raise money for funeral costs to support a woman most of them only knew through their computer screen.

i find the concept of a blog fascinating. because of blogging, every person with internet access can tell their story. and i firmly believe we all have a story to tell. 

but that's where the high school-esque aspect of blogging comes in.

i started blogging in January of 2009. (though i did have a LiveJournal -remember those bad boys?- all through high school and my freshman year of college. but it died out.) i was 21 and i just had a lot going on in my life. i didn't know much about blogging.i just knew that it was a way for me to write my feelings, to get my thoughts out of my brain in a way that wouldn't leave my hand all crampy. (i've never been awesome at hand written journals. my thoughts move too fast and my hand can't keep up and then i just stress about how ugly my handwriting gets the longer i write.) to me, blogging seemed like a perfect fit in my life.

and it was. i love writing. and i think i'm decent at it. i loved being able to write my life. and i eventually realized that i wanted other people to read it. and i think that's natural. i wasn't (and i'm still not) really in a place where i could write a book (though i would love to one day), but i could/can blog. and just as i would want people to read my book, i want people to read my blog. 

what's the point of living a life if you can't share it with others?

and that's all i've ever wanted to do. i just want to share it with others. 

i don't want to talk to no one. i want people to listen.

i've learned some really great things through other bloggers i've followed throughout the years and all i've ever wanted to do was give that back; to return the favor and help someone else learn something really great. 

and these days, there are several ways to go about getting people to read your blog. and these days, there are a lot of readers. and that's great.

and these days there is even a good amount of money that a blogger could make just by being a blogger. that's crazy cool in my opinion.

but there are politics in blogging.

there are rules and dues that must be paid.

there is gnarly competition.

and there are sell outs. 

it's a fine line to walk-blogging for yourself, writing your own, real stories and also turning it into a side job and remaining genuine all the while. 

and a while ago i found myself getting very bored and very frustrated with a lot of the blogs i had been reading. it seemed to me that every post was a sponsored post. reading those blogs felt like watching commercials. (in addition to that, my instagram feed turned into an endless stream of commercial/advertisement photos of crap i don't care about.) and after some time i got sick of the commercials. so i stopped reading.

(and lest there be anyone trying to call me out on hypocrasy,i have aboslutely done sponsored posts and product reviews. i realize there are fabulous perks to blogging and having a large number of readers. and it's exciting to think that a company trusts you enough to send you a product to review. but posts like that are not my main content. and i try really hard to still make them relatable and real.)

but this aspect is only a part of my frustration with what i felt blogging was turning into.

i guess another part of the reason i stopped blogging was because i have lived so much of my life comparing. from thigh size to car type i have compared what i have to what everyone else has. and more often than not i deem what everyone else has as better. truthfully, i think that's normal if not human.

Eloquent Graffiti was born out of necessity and a genuine need and love to write. it was so pure in its beginning and i hated that the more i read other blogs the more i began to compare. 

this person had such a fantastic design and this person had pictures that were so amazing. this girl had clothes that made me drool with envy and this girl was hilarious in every post. she has so many followers. she has so many sponsors. she is totally nailing this blogging thing. 

oh, and everyone's life is totally perfect and no one is struggling in any aspect of their life and their family and health and finances are all just a dream.

and in my mind, Eloquent Graffiti (and my life) slowly became lackluster and boring and i felt like it didn't hold a candle to the perfection of so many other blogs. 

in short, i was belittling my blog for being exactly what i had named and intended it to be.

Eloquent Graffiti. 

it wasn't supposed to be cheaply worded and riddled with shallow posts.

my feelings were far too eloquent for that.

and it wasn't supposed to depict a perfectly composed and flawless person or existence.

there is way too much graffiti in my life for that. 

and i didn't want to fall into the trap and adulterate what i had created. so i just stepped away for a while. and again, there really wasn't a whole lot to document. 

but things have been happening lately and i've been doing a lot of thinking. and i think i'm ready to come back. and if i gain a lot of new readers (and i hope that i do. because again, i hope for people to read and relate to what i have to say) then that will be wonderful. and if i have a few people want to sponsor me, then i will let them. and if i get the chance to do product reviews for companies then i will. truthfully, it would be freaking sweet to make money from blogging. but i want it to be real and i want it to be genuine. 

because if it's not real and if it's not genuine then it's not my writing. and if it's not my writing then it's not me. and if it's not me then what's the point? 

so here i go. 

i'm back to blogging. 

i hope you're back to reading. 

and i hope good things come from it all.

love,

kate.

lyrics: walking in the garden was a serpent shaped heart and he told me that what is broken cannot show and less than beautiful is worse than unholy…so when they ask why'd she go you can say 'cause life in Eden changed.

2013 RECAP

before we get too far into the new year, i'd like to do a little recap of 2013. 

i know most bloggers did this like 2 months ago but whatever. i'm obviously not like most bloggers since i took like a 6 month break from blogging and also i'm not all that fancy, i don't do fashion posts, my house isn't perfectly decorated and well, you get it. 

anyways.

to begin, i will show you this photo slide show i made. i'm sure these things were a one week wonder and are no longer a thing, but whatever. when have i ever been hip to the groove with anything? besides, i have a lot of pictures and it's just way easier this way. 

also, FYI, there is music so if you don't want to hear it, just turn your sound off. you're welcome. but for the record, it's a good song. so...maybe don't turn your sound off.

2013 Recap by Slidely Slideshow

and now a verbal 2013 review:

my parents moved away. and it was hard.

garrett got laid of from his job. and it was hard. 

my maternal grandmother passed away. and it was harder. 

garrett got re-hired at the same job. and it was weird.

i started a blog design business. and it was actually pretty successful. 

my hair doing business also started to pick up a lot. and we actually made a few dollars.

we spent spring break in south carolina with my sister. and gilly was the happiest pup ever.

i turned 25. and it was DEpressing. (that capital DE was for mental sound emphasis.)

garrett was accepted for a summer internship in Salt Lake City. and there was much rejoicing.

garrett and i celebrated our 3rd anniversary. and i was like uhh.. where has time gone?

after a whirlwind month, garrett and i moved across the country for the summer. and it was a long drive for gilly. 

i met Kelsey from Stories of Kel. and she is awesome. 

garrett and i went to our friends Adam and Amanda's wedding. and it was beautiful. (Newport is tops.)

garrett and i ate just like a shiz ton of delicious utah food. and i had zero regrets. 

my two best friends had their babies. and i got to meet/love them.

i flew from Utah to Atlanta to spend a week with my mom and sisters/nieces & nephews. and it was a sweaty, humid blast. 

garrett was diagnosed with Celiac Disease. and it was kind of daunting. 

summer ended and we drove back to georgia. and we quickly began missing our utah summer.

2 weeks after being home, we moved out of our house and into my parent's unsold house the next town over. and it was...whatever. don't talk to me. i hate moving.

garrett started school again and designed incredible stuff. and i was like wowza. my husband is talented.

i did Insanity for like the eleventy billionth time. and i broke my spine. sort of. 

i was on bed rest for like 3 weeks. and it was a freaking blast  was miserable and painful and boring and i worried about bed sores like the whole time.

garrett turned 26. and he realized he's going to die one day.  and we had a party for him.

my whole family came for Thanksgiving. and it was one of my favorite parts of the whole year. 

garrett and i drove BACK out west to see friends and family for the holiday season. and gilly was like, guys, just kill me. i cannot handle this.

i got my hair colored. and i didn't even know what to do with myself. 

we got to play in the snow. and it was cold and also so fun. gilly especially loved it.

i saw my friends and their babies. and they've already grown too much. (the babes, that is.)

i went to temple square (twice!). and even though it was crazy cold, it was so beautiful.

we spent some days in Arizona. and we got family pictures taken by Lauren Brimley. (amazing.)

i got the stomach flu (or something terribly similar to it). and i'm scarred from a few foods for a while.

garrett and i drove to California for Christmas. and it was way too hot to be December 25th.

we got the ENTIRE collection of Friends. and we will never be social bored again.

i got something stomachy flu-ish again. and i had to endure a boat ride to a seafood restaurant. (not puking on that boat/in that restaurant are probably my greatest accomplishments of 2013, to be honest.) 

we drove back to Utah. and we had a late Christmas celebration with my family.

garrett started feeling sickish. and i was pretty much a ticking time bomb.

we rang in the New Year in Utah with my parents. and it was wildly uneventful. (and i'm not complaining.) 

and even though it's technically not 2013 events, i'll keep updating you.

i caught garrett's sickish feeling (naturally.) and instead of feeling "sickish" i was miserable. 
(instead of the kind of flu that involved toilets and vomit in my hair, this was the kind of flu that involved a buttload of snot, horrible head aches, a fever and a cough that could clear a room.)

and here it is...January 13th and i'm still coughing. 
in other news, my obliques are getting a solid workout from it all. 
silver lining, am i right?

anyways. i feel better knowing that everything is up to date. ish. i'm obviously leaving out a couple of details. but you get the idea. 

maybe one day i'll provide more. but let's be honest. that's probably not going to happen. 

i can only do so much. 

love,
kate.

lyrics: pass it up, would't dare. what a wild ride.