January 15, 2013

getting there.

it's been some days since i last blogged.
it's hard to move on sometimes.
and sometimes i have trouble accepting things.

my grandma passed away on the 9th.
it was a tough day. 
as was the 10th.
and the 11th.
in fact, each day since then has had moments of difficulty. 
usually at night, as i'm falling asleep.
death isn't easy. 
i don't believe it is meant to be easy.
and so i have been allowing myself to feel sadness.
not an overwhelming amount of it.
but i feel it necessary to face emotions head on rather than evade them.
even if they hurt.

so i am sad.
and i miss my grandma. 
and i wish i could have had one more goodbye.
one more hug.
and i wish things hadn't ended the way they did.
but i honestly believe i will see her again. 
there is no doubt in my mind about that.

and so i am choosing to focus on that.
and on all the good things around me.
i still have a wonderful and incredibly loving family.
i still have two amazing grandparents living.
i still have a husband who loves and supports me and understands what i'm going through.
i still have my very own life to live.
and i still have very much to live for.

i miss my grandparents who have passed on.
i love them very, very much.
and i take comfort in the words of Mr. Morrie Schwartz (Tuesdays with Morrie) when he said, 
"Death ends a life, not a relationship."

beautiful, right?
i think so, too.


lyrics: even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.

ps. i cannot thank you guys enough for your sweet words of comfort and your prayers for my family. it meant so much.


  1. Awh Kate I just love you. We are definitely kindred spirits. Sending comforting thoughts and prayers your way xoxo

  2. i wish i could give you a hug and cry with you. As it is, you have been in my prayers. I love you.

  3. Modey. Oh, Modey. She will be missed. You're in my prayers. Love you!

  4. I couldn't finish reading this post, my 80 year old grandma was just released from the hospital after being in there for nine days. Tears haven't stopped pouring from my eyes and I only read the top paragraph. I am so, so sorry you and your family is going through this. We all know that our time is eventually going to end but that never makes losing someone any easier. My prayers are with you and your family in this time of need.

  5. She loved/loves you very very much. I miss her too