getting there.

it's been some days since i last blogged.
it's hard to move on sometimes.
and sometimes i have trouble accepting things.

my grandma passed away on the 9th.
it was a tough day. 
as was the 10th.
and the 11th.
in fact, each day since then has had moments of difficulty. 
usually at night, as i'm falling asleep.
death isn't easy. 
i don't believe it is meant to be easy.
and so i have been allowing myself to feel sadness.
not an overwhelming amount of it.
but i feel it necessary to face emotions head on rather than evade them.
even if they hurt.

so i am sad.
and i miss my grandma. 
and i wish i could have had one more goodbye.
one more hug.
and i wish things hadn't ended the way they did.
but i honestly believe i will see her again. 
there is no doubt in my mind about that.

and so i am choosing to focus on that.
and on all the good things around me.
i still have a wonderful and incredibly loving family.
i still have two amazing grandparents living.
i still have a husband who loves and supports me and understands what i'm going through.
i still have my very own life to live.
and i still have very much to live for.

i miss my grandparents who have passed on.
i love them very, very much.
and i take comfort in the words of Mr. Morrie Schwartz (Tuesdays with Morrie) when he said, 
"Death ends a life, not a relationship."

beautiful, right?
i think so, too.

love,
kate.


lyrics: even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.


ps. i cannot thank you guys enough for your sweet words of comfort and your prayers for my family. it meant so much.