February 23, 2011

pillows and place mats.

i'm not usually that simple.
i can't summarize a story, movie or book.
i'm not easy to understand all of time.
and more often than not my thoughts are much deeper than i know how to deal with.

i suffer from chronic anxiety.
at times i feel like everything is my job; like i need to fix myself and the world.

i recently made a fat move across the country based on nothing more than a feeling.

this month i had a break down of sorts.
i felt like all of my efforts to get to the "it'll get better" part of my life were only moving me backwards into the "wow, those days were rough" part of my life.

it was frustrating.

yesterday my mom taught me how to sew.
i was thrilled.

today i made place mats for our table.
and pillows for our couch.

this evening, when i came home with my newest creations, and after the pillows were fluffed and placed in their most aesthetic spots on the couch and the place mats were set out with our fine china (otherwise known as target dishes)-garrett and i were very pleased with our tiny home.

as we stood in our kitchen and looked at our table all gussied up with dishes and mats i couldn't help but smile.
and then garrett turned to me and said "i feel like our life is finally starting to..."
and then i finished his sentence/ cut him off with "come together.."

and it does.

it's very simple. and i'm not very familiar with it.
and i most definitely do not understand how it works.
but it does.

today a place mat and a pillow gave me a feeling i haven't had in a while.
that sigh of relief.
that silent moment of thanks.
that optimistic feeling that people who suffer from chronic anxiety do not often experience
that reminder of the feeling you once had that fear had done away with.

months of stress and worry were completely remedied by a pillow and a place mat.

it may not last forever, but for right now i am basking in my new discovery of how sensational a little slice of simple life can be.


lyrics: all we ever wanted was love and love and happy afternoons.


  1. those pillows are so cute! you can make me some any time you please! :)

  2. LOVE the pillows and place mats!! Super cute! Miss you!