December 6, 2010

make change, cracka.

my whole life i have hated Monopoly.
i was a firm believer that it was, in fact, the whore of all the earth with one purpose:to drive families apart.
and after one particularly long round of Monopoly i played with catherine (when we were about 11) i vowed to never play it again.
it took too long.
there was too much tension.
and overall, it was very boring.
catherine and i not only played the longest game of monopoly that night, but we also ate more doritos than any pair of 11 year old children ever have.
consequently, i also vowed to never again eat that very specific type of dorito.

well, 10 years later, i'm proud to say i have never eaten those doritos again.
but a few months ago i cracked--and i played monopoly.
garrett and i were at jenn and garrison's and everyone else wanted to play.
so i decided not to be a grinch.
and i played.
and actually enjoyed it.

so why am i writing about this now?
i'll tell you why.
last night garrett and i went over to jenn and garrison's again and we played monopoly again.
and it wasn't just enjoyable.
it was absolutely fantastic.
i had zero chance of winning and i accepted that from the beginning.
but oh the tension.
oh the bickering.
simply hilarious.

i laughed myself into a drunken stupor and slowly the others began to sink to my lowly level.
we played for four hours (yes, four) and after garrison and i were completely out of the game (despite my cheating to stay in) he and i provided commentary (musical commentary) on the rigorous lightening round that garrett and jenn went into.
it got intense.
and jenn was our victor.
but garrett did give it all he had.
i got too punch drunk to focus after a while but he was really in it to win it.
such a persevering fella, that husband of mine.

anyways, the moral of the story-
monopoly is fun 10 years later.
500 dollar bills shall hereby be referred to as "goldenrods".
garrett will never land in the right spot at the right time.
jail ain't so bad when you're broke and you have no properties.
the song "don't touch my willy" is just as disturbing 4 years after hearing it for the first time.
and jenn and garrison will be greatly missed.


lyrics: it's times like this you learn to live again.

ps. T minus twelve days!