April 17, 2009

please press hard.

finals week is upon us.


i despise finals. they are worthless.

and they make me zitty.

i only have two finals.

and really that's not bad at all.

and i'm really not worried about them too much.

especially since i would have to totally bomb..and i mean totally bomb both of them to get anything less than a B.

nonetheless, i hate finals.

also, i hate that i'm going to school spring semester.

it's such a yucky thought.

i shouldn't be required to sit in a classroom for two hours while the sun is shining and other people are summering their lives away.

and on that note....the sunny note that is...
it's april 17th. and don't worry that it snowed...a freaking ton two days ago.

i'm not even sure that's legal.

april showers. not april snowstorm.

get it right, utah.

so who knows...maybe it won't be so summery outside after all...

in other news...

things in life are still pretty difficult.

i'm trying. i'm praying. and i'm making as many sacrifices as i can possibly stand...

and i'm just waiting.

waiting for my efforts and prayers and sacrifices to start making a difference.

i saw a friend i haven't been able to see in a long time the other night.

i started crying the second i saw him.

and i proceeded to cry to him for quite some time...

it was heartbreaking to realize how much i've missed him...among other things and people.

i truly hate that things have to be this way.

i hate that so many people, places and things are poison.

i hate that i have to detox people i love from my life so that i can be happy again.

i would really like to be happy again.

but it's hard.

i'm ready for the wound to close up.

for the bleeding to stop.

for the healing to start.

but it's all hard.

and i'm not sure when that will happen.

and like i said..until then..

i'm just waiting.

and expecting the miracle.

i don't think there is a whole lot more to update on...

i want a puppy.

and i got a new
bathing suit.

and i love it.

also, i have been on a scrapbooking frenzy lately.

it's all i want to do.

scrapbook or go to color me mine.

i'm just feeling stress and anxiety and sadness and i often want to do artsy things to cope with it.

that's weird.

oh well.

i need to go study. but i'm watching meg today. so i'll probably end up just watching disney movies and taking pictures of her.


until next time...

and maybe next time won't be so sad...


lyric: we're passing the time. we're breaking apart. we're damned at the end. we're damned at the start.-augustana

quote:"...we're called to hold our hands against the wounds of a broken world, to stop the bleeding."-don miller.

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