April 27, 2012

triple A friday? i don't know. probably not.

sometimes i have a lot of thinks and i don't know how to make all of those thinks flow into one, pretty packaged blog post. and i'm fairly certain that if i just typed them all out as they ran through my brain you would think me to be a mental patient.
i had mental patient bangs once. it wasn't pretty.

do you see what i'm talking about? it could get ugly.
so rather than be a mental patient, i've decided to be a copy cat (i seriously don't understand that term. could someone do me a solid and clarify where that came from) of so many other blogs and to categorize my thinks into some groups.

those groups being:
1) awesome
2) awkward
3) are you serious?

i've seen the awesome/awkward ones done a lot. but i feel like i hear the words "are you serious?" come out of my mouth way too often to not make that a category.

so. drum roll, please.
actually, no.
the drums cause me anxiety and tension head aches.

 -making cake pops that didn't blow and also didn't commit everyone who ate them to a life with type two diabetes. something about my first batch was just way too sweet. like the yuck kind of sweet. the i'm-judging-you-for-eating-those kind of sweet. but don't worry. i'm not judging you nearly as much as i' judging myself for making such crappy cake pops.

-finding out that the light at the end of garrett's schooling tunnel is not only real, but it's sort of even close and there's an actual date attached to it. and that is sort of beautiful.

-having tan lines.  i realize that by having these tan lines i have also increased my chances of melanoma, but for cereal--does it get better than tan lines around your neck? no.

-sleeping in a bed alone. yes. i said it. but before you begin fashioning my crown and dubbing me the worst wife ever, i just want you to think about the days before you shared a bed, when you got to star fish and sleep at a diagonal and your REM cycle was never interrupted by the body heat of another person and you never were woken in the middle of the night by the sound of grinding teeth/man snores/your blankets being stolen/dragon breath being breathed on you and then i want you to look me in my blog eyes and tell me if i really deserve that crown. i don't.

-having air brush makeup. for cereal. every day i'm in love.

-answering the door and talking to my land lord for some significant amount of time and then realizing i'm not wearing a bra. oops.

-seeing a big lady wearing a tube top (and also no bra--hey we much be twins!) that had gone south...i pray she hadn't noticed and she wasn't just making a fashion statement.

-trying to get dressed/shower/brush my hair/do anything with a wounded wrist. so i mostly just haven't done anything since the surgery.

-having a dog that just doesn't know how to resist the urge to sniff a crotch. sorry. so just fyi: if you come to my door/walk in my house/walk by my dog she will sniff your crotch. not my fault.

-having a phone that calls the wrong number sometimes, despite the fact that i am calling a set contact in my phone. some girl in california has been getting phone calls from me when i attempt to call my husband. poor girl got a phone call at 6:30 this morning. but truth be told, i'm not really even that sorry. because she was sort of a witch to me the last time this happened. but i may or may not have accused her of being a mistress home-wrecker. but come on! a girl was answering my husband's phone!! (or so i thought. she was actually just answering her phone. and my phone was calling the wrong number.)

-being able to quote an entire episode of The Office.

are you serious?
-trying to go for a good solid work out kind of walk/run and only being able to go a quarter of a mile because the mosquitoes and sand gnats consumed  a quarter of my body.

-having the wii fit tell me i had the body agility of a 52 year old.

-wearing the gosh darn cutest shoes in the world and not getting a single compliment. i'm so vain.

-my eye brows growing in like bamboo chutes but the hair on my head not growing since 2008.

i think that's all i have for now. do you see how mental that would have all sounded if i had not categorized?
i just realized it's the weekend. happy weekend everyone!
i need to go feed my dog.
her whining is beyond my ability to remain sane.
it's a good thing she's so darn cute.


lyrics: so come on let me in. i will be the sun. i will wake you up.


  1. ok, the added "are you serious?" LOVE.

  2. New to your blog and just about died laughing. Especially when you discuss the joys of sleeping alone. So with you on that one. Thanks for the smiles!