-when will my hair stop punishing me and just grow?
-why did Luvs decide to make a commercial about a pooping competition?
-will my poor husband ever have a best friend live near him again?
-what is it about running that makes me want to punch people in the face?
-why can jenelle from teen mom get a job but i can't?
but more relevant to you:
-who actually reads this blog?
-what can i do to make it more entertaining for my few, faithful readers?
i really like the idea of having a weekly schedule.
must have monday. flashback friday. things like that.
after some serious mulling i came to my conclusion. but before i can divulge that information, i must first share a story.
while living in utah, garrett and i would often drive by a diner called village inn. we never ate there (to be honest, i don't know of anyone who has ever eaten there) but on wednesdays they would put out a huge banner advertising their mid-week deal. To each customer who purchased a meal at village in on wednesdays would go a free slice of any pie.
i pointed this banner out to garrett one time and in the weeks and months that followed it seemed like we always drove past village inn on wednesdays. and each time i would shout to him "free slice wednesday!!". some wednesdays i would get very (inwardly, not outwardly-because garrett would make fun of me) excited as we made our way down university parkway from the i-15 and neared village inn. free slice wednesday became my mile marker for the week. and in all truthfulness and seriousness, i would say "free slice wednesday" to myself at some point throughout the day if that day happened to be one where i didn't get to drive by that blessed banner.
for those of you who have not x'ed out of this screen after reading how truly doused in loser i am, please stay with me a bit longer. (light refreshments will be served at the conclusion of this)
so obviously, free slice wednesday was the first thing that came to my mind when i thought about dedicating one post per week to one themed posting schedule of sorts. but what hail would that slice be?
for some time i considered making it a pie recipe entry.
i don't have the money to be making trial and error pies every week.
then i tried to work out a way it could be some sort of fashion-y blog...with slices of pie?
i have no fashion sense. half the girls at a justin bieber concert would have better fashion advice.
also, as if that previous statement wasn't enough to convince me, fashion doesn't work well with pie. at least not in my experience.
so then i thought maybe it could be like a "slice" of my mind sort of punny blog entry.
"slice" of my mind is something i would make fun of someone else for doing so.. and please refer to the aforementioned thinks that go through my head if you are under the impression that it would be a good idea for me to make a habit of spilling the deep contents of my brain every week.
i am weird.
after all of this failing i felt like karen from mean girls and seriously considered giving up. i was never going to incorporate free slice wednesday into my blog.
but then i remembered that most of my issues are solved by google.
so yes, i went to google and typed in: slice of
and waited for the most popular searches that followed that phrase.
the heavens parted. the angels sang. and i had my connection.
free slice wednesday: a slice of life.
i'm going to tell you a little secret: there have been times in my life when i wasn't really sure what there was that was worth living for. (i'll ask you to not judge) and in that time my life was nothing more than basic necessity. i ate sometimes. i slept all the time. i talked to no one. i did nothing. my life was a slice of poop.
and so my loves, i am dedicating a wednesday post to a slice of life-the things in life that make life worth living; that make life more than just being alive.
so there you have it.
cathartic and cute.
(that could be a blog in and of itself and i guarantee you wouldn't find those luvs babies on it seeing as how they are both emotionally distressing and fugly.)
get excited. it's going to be good.
lyrics: i'm dying to be alive. not trying to just survive.