homeward bound.

confession:
i wouldn't say i'm a scaredy-cat.
but i do have some fears.
i am very much afraid of the dark.
i am terrified of spiders/roaches.
i am scared of change.
even good change scares me.
the night before my wedding i was an absolute mess.
i knew marrying garrett was good and right.
i knew he would make me happy.
i knew it was what i wanted and what the Lord wanted.
it was a huge decision.
and i was scared.
scared of marriage.
scared of being a wife.
scared of being hurt.
scared of actually taking the steps i knew were right for me because i didn't know what was ahead of me.
change is scary for me.
there's usually a sense of excitement accompanying the fear, but more often than not, the fear wins out.

as of lately, garre and i have found ourselves making another huge decision.
and it's turning out to be pretty scary, too.
we've taken quite a bit of time to pray and fast about it.
we've gone to the temple and we've had very serious discussions with each other.
and we have come to a conclusion.
we are moving.
to georgia.
effective december 18th, 2010.
yikes. it's scary just typing it.
but it needs to be done.
and scary aside, it feels right.
and in some ways i'm very excited to be going.
in some ways i'm freaking out.
mostly because i suddenly have a ginormous to do list.

above all, i think i'm scared no one here in utah will care.
or miss me.

deep breath.
focus.
there are things that need to be done.
no time to fear.

love,
kate.


lyrics: but all my words come back to me in shades of mediocrity like emptiness in harmony i need someone to comfort me.